Der Kampfflieger

This is great :P

I translated this to show my British friend, she liked it.

Here you go:
~~
In all this spy story this is what interests me:
There's this fellow, Bond, James Bond, working in her Majesty's Secret Service, right after graduating from Eton, and here they wake him up in the middle of night, 'John, code red, we have chemical weapons in the midst of our own dear England!'

So he rubs the sleep out of his eyes, puts on his glasses and hotfoots it to work.
By morning he knows everything about those Moriartys from Ryazan, including who used to beat them up at school, not to mention who ordered the poisoning. So he is looking at all those lines of text and he can't believe his own eyes--surely they couldn't have been this dumb.

Then his boss calls him on the phone, sounding worried, 'James,' he says, 'this is an urgent matter, you have a month tops, for all this,' and our Bond casually says to him, 'can come see you for a minute?'

James Bond comes into his boss's office, let's say his boss is M., with a stack of papers and says, 'here you go'.

M. riffles through the papers, looks now at the papers, now at Bond, and whispers, 'And that's it? You're not having me on, are you? James, so you propose that I take this story to the Prime Minister? And what should I tell her? That these russkije are more stupid than the rugby team from the St. Martha's Care Home for the Mentally Disabled?'

And the two of them are staring at each other, in silence.